I don’t know if you are like me, but I wake up with this insane amount of energy (pending I actually got some good sleep). I either walk, run, or get my steps in at the Parks, but I usually find that my exercise suits me best in the morning. On my cool downs is when I get the best ideas, the most crystal clear of clarity on things, and I just get stuff FINALLY done. (In my head anyways). So when I hit this wall of nothingness, my motivations plunges so deep that it feels like I never had it. No, I’m not depressed, quite the opposite, just have lost my mojo right now.
My family feels it is exhaustion and stress from the sale and that it will play itself out- they are probably right. Funny thing is, I can write this with no problem. But the amazing travels I want to share, the beautiful pictures, the ideas and suggestions for you all, they are all written down, but nothing is coming out. Some say writers block, must be it. So I have been working on other things to keep my mind busy. First, I have given the old girl a facelift….not me, I am beautiful and don’t need one, I mean ye old website. I have breathed fresh air into her and I LOVE how she looks. If you are wondering where the HEADER pic was taken, it was at Glacier National Park. If I had to envision Heaven, it would be that or “Flight of Passage.” My absolute FAVORITE National Park, so much that I plan on seeing it again this summer along with my dear friend and her family in Kalispell, Montana.
The planning has also been slow coming, and even though I broke it down into months, then seasons, then sections, then weeks, it is STILL overwhelming. I know I decided this and I know it will be AWESOME when I actually start it, but I always set these HIGH expectations in my head so much that the narrative I have on not dissappointng myself or you, sits on a reel on repeat. Honestly, it can be maddening at times, and then I just kind of snap out of it and go on with my day. A dear friend gifted me CBD oil for my migraines, so maybe that will help calm everything going on in there. I have so many wonderful ideas and plans that I seem to need to get them out NOW instead of taking a decent pace in life. OR I need to kick caffeine.
Everyone has been getting their stuff from my sale, so I am VERY happy about that. So much work and then with the Post Office being slower these days, I just held my breath and prayed everyone saw their stuff. The items that didn’t sell I am trying to figure out what to do with them. I thought about just showing one item a day and that way it’s not overwhelming to people, and they can buy as they choose without digging through a sale of 800 items. Yes, that’s how many there were LOL. The lady at the Post Office actually asked me and I told her and she said “Wait you did this all by yourself?” Yes, yes I did. Happy people are happy with their new found treasures, happy that I have some funds now for my trip and have let go of a dear collection.
So what’s next? I have some fun announcements to make once everything is “ready.” It’s been a time getting and gathering for the next “thing” on here, and I SO appreciate my TEAM who help me on this side of things. They say you have life made if you have a really good Dentist, Doctor, Car Mechanic, and IT guy. I would have to add Graphic Designer to that- JT has been incredibly valuable and is SO MUCH appreciated!
I have roughly 2.5 months left until my World opens up and closes all at the same time. I am trying to get ready as much as possible, and with every plan made, I start to panic. What if I get lonely on the road, what if noone watches my videos that I worked so hard on, what if nobody cares? And then the real Amy stood up and said “Do it for yourself, share what you want, when you want, how you want. This site, it comes second. Your joy, my joy, it comes first, ALWAYS. People will love and hate you every damn day, and it’s how you react, how you take that internally that truly keeps you from letting it BECOME you. Be who YOU are and the right kind will follow you and the wrong will fall away. Let your internal narrative shout of positivity and of courage, be brave in your choices and ALLOW them to be yours. You do not NEED permission, you do not NEED their acceptance, you only need YOURS.”
So that’s what I am going to do.