I think it was a Staple’s commercial where there was a big, red button you could press to reset something, and I always thought “Wow, how handy that would be.” How many times we all find ourselves going down one path, nothing seemingly wrong, and then BAM, you are turned, twisted, and left on something you don’t even recognize. That’s how I equate the last several weeks of my life, and it’s taking me a bit to travel back to my original road. Patience, not my strong point, hope it’s yours.
I am coming to the 7 week countdown soon here and I am SOOOOOO not prepared yet. If anything of my impromptu trip to Texas taught me is that I have so much to get ready for and so much that I cannot possibly plan, but just let happen. A quick update on Bob- he is doing well and he going into a Rehab center for a short period of time to just help move recovery a long a bit quicker. Mom is well and enjoying the space and quiet between me leaving and him coming home- it will be a lot for her to deal with so I told her to rest up and to enjoy the peace for a little while before the harder stuff comes down the pipeline. They will have a nurse come by the home as well, if needed, and I made sure to set them up with as much as possible before I left. We all watch our parents get older, as we get older ourselves, and it’s an interesting chapter to say the least. It’s hard, it’s just hard. Let’s hold onto them as long as we can.
So after two days of driving there, and two days of driving back, I did come across some firsts. I now know that I CAN conquer bridges from a traveler’s nightmare….I 10 has TWO GIGANTIC bridges that when you come around a corner and see them, you have no choice but to go up. I literally prayed and sang all the way up one, trying to distract my brain from the “flight or fight” method because this sucker was STEEP! You know the kind that you are almost positive that you are never going to stop going up, and that you wonder what fresh hell is waiting there once you get to the top? OH and then one had traffic so thick that we all were braking on the way up- nothing like feeling like I could fall backwards at ANY point. Yes, I will be avoiding these on my road trip, thanks waiter, check please!
I got to visit my first “Buccees” which is a gas station on crack of any of you wondering. It’s like if Target and Wawa had a baby, and then Kwik Trip, 7/11 and so on came to party as well, making this giant Beaver baby that is Buccees. To tell you how large this place was, my gas pump was #222. Seriously. They have them lining one whole side of the building, in layers!! So the one in TX was smaller I guess, and it was manageable. I went in, checked it out, grabbed a chicken sandwich and a soda, and headed out. The one on the Alabama, FL Panhandle State line was something out of nightmares. It was ike a Black Friday sale met the busiest Disney day you can think of- I didn’t know if I could or should enjoy looking around with so many people shoved into one building. Half with masks, half without (even though CLEARLY marked that you must wear one inside). Grabbed a sandwich, a drink, some hot sauce for Kyra, and bolted. Not today Satan, not today.
If anything, it was a good dry run on driving long periods of time again. Honestly, this is what I will be trying to avoid on the trip. I want to only drive a couple hours in between destinations so that I may enjoy the excitement of that day and not get bogged down with all the driving. It’s odd how driving makes us so tired when we are literally just sitting with our foot on the gas, but I guess the inactivity is what does it. Day two this time I wound up driving for 15 hours due to Easter weekend traffic being horrific on the way into Florida on 75. Pretty sure I was delirious by the time I walked into the house- but oh so grateful to make it home safe and be with my family for Easter.
In an odd way, these reset moments help me process and cooperate with life’s messes a bit better each and every time they come along. It’s in the learning of how to cope with my emotions, how to spring into action when someone needs me, and more importantly, sidelining my life for a small sliver of time so that my heart and head are available to help someone else. It brought me much joy to hug my Mom, be there for her before and after, but more importantly, to SHOW her “You matter, I am here. You are not alone.” May we ALL have persons who will drop everything and show up for us, and may we all be that to someone in our lives. You may never know the impact your life may have on someone, but let’s try to make it a positive one. Perfection? Heck no. Kindness, compassion, empathy, being present? Hell yes. So as I hit the reset button, again, I wish you all a go on yours, may it be a fruitful and positive one!