Hello from this windy Thursday in the deep heart of Texas. I have been here 4 days now and it’s been a long week of waiting, praying, hoping for the best, and preparing for the worst. Nobody wants to talk about it, but Mom and I both know to be ready for anything. So far he is still scheduled for surgery tomorrow, Friday the 26th, so we hope and we wait some more.
I am not going to lie, I am exhausted. I am doing everything in my power for my Mom and Bob, but we all know there is only so much I can do. Still cleaning, driving her anywhere she needs to be, helping her remember things to pack every day, preparing food and so on. We have their place here to “summer ize” before they head back to Wisconsin, so there’s a lot to do for that. Temps can be in the 100s here over the summer so they have to do a laundry list of things to prevent the heat and bugs from getting to things while they are gone. With Bob being in recovery mode, he will be unable to drive back to WI, and certainly not be able to wrap things up here. So Mom and I will hopefully find the strength and knowledge to get it all done.
Time frames are up in the air, it all depends on tomorrow. I am willing to stay as long as possible, and one scenario is having his son drive Bob and his car home to WI with Mom or I drive Mom up in mine, just for space wise. Then I will either fly back to Orlando and leave my car there and fly back and start the road trip there OR I will be driving all the way back to Florida and then resuming life from there as planned. Decisions….hate them. Emily’s birthday is in May, and I’d rather not miss it as it is a big one, but I also know I am needed here as long as possible. I did bring as much I could for the road trip in case I would be starting from here, always trying to think ahead, but I didn’t pack very well and a lot I forgot at home. Craig has offered to ship anything I need, so that option is always open.
Trying to keep busy, writing, and planning but my heart’s just not in it right now. My mom has this old bike that she wants to paint yellow and I thought about making it for her and adding flowers and then putting it in front to surprise her…but the problem with that is that they seem determined to leave for rehab possibly in WI rather than here, so I don’t want to add to more “stuff” to pack, put away, if they are planning on heading out soon. I wanted to get fresh flowers for Bob for the hospital and here at the house as a “get better” feel- but he’s allergic. I seem to keep going down these paths of wanting to do something but the end result keeps being a “wait and see”- so I am.
Yeah, this isn’t a post about a cool ghost tour or the Grand Canyon, wish it was, but just simply an update of life right now. I am not looking for pity or judgement, just good vibes and prayers for Bob’s surgery tomorrow and peace for my Mom’s heart and head. It will be a long one tomorrow, strength in whatever form is much appreciated. Sending much love to y’all from Pharr, Texas- have a good day.