Why I Moved Back to Wisconsin …
Our dream of Florida, at that time, was everything we had hoped it would be. We got to live in two beautiful homes, the second being my favorite. Our adventures were a plenty that I will eventually get around to sharing, so that your family can have them as well! But life happens, and it’s messy, and things happen.
So the simple of it, my marriage was broken. Doesn’t matter the details, if you know, I trust you, but we had our problems like most have, and between that and Emily hating school here, it just seemed like the right time to go back to the beginning. I think some of me wanted to go back to WI because that’s where we raised our babies, got married, and lived a huge portion of our lives together. That even though we were heading back to divorce, which we did indeed file, maybe, just maybe, there was hope. No one likes to admit that there life is a mess, and it’s too bad that sometimes we live a happy life on Social Media that it is anything but. So we all moved back to see what the next chapter would be.
Putting the divorce aside, moving back was just creepy. It was May, it was cold and gloomy, and even though I recognized everything…our family was fractured and I was just sad. Sad that our story was going to end like this. With time I got my own apartment, was offered a full-time job, got my own car, and quickly life didn’t seem so sad anymore. The filing was hard, but we tried to be friendly about it and just live our lives. And then I got sick. Very sick. A bacteria was in my system that couldn’t be kicked out or diagnosed, so I spent many nights at the E.R. in pain. My life as I knew it changed in a flash. I started to pace, scratch and itch my skin all the time, and I had serious thoughts of suicide. By the way, it takes courage to talk about that- people freak out when you mention it, it’s a real thing. I actually admitted myself into a Clinic to be watched and monitored… the pain was making me that crazy. I wasn’t sleeping, and when I did I’d wake up with pain and start to pace again and again. They put me on anxiety and depression meds that wound up making it ten times worse. I tried to convince my boss that I could walk up the wall if she asked me…yeah, I know, scary. I was finally diagnosed months later, but the mental damage was done. My memory has taken a brutal hit from it all- I think God is just trying to protect me from the deep and sharper memories during that 6 month time.
And through all that pain…Craig came back to me.
It started off small with conversations of trying to help me calm down, then taking me to the hospital, and then just hanging out with me so I wasn’t alone. Just his presence would relax me, to know I wasn’t going crazy and someone else knew what I was going through. Then I remember one night I was jacked up on pain meds from the ER and we had to get a prescription on the way home and I just remember asking him why I wasn’t enough, why we couldn’t make it work, and it just snowballed from there. Soon after many talks, we went and dissolved the filing at the Courthouse and celebrated with smoothies. It didn’t mean everything was great, it meant that we were both trying again. And let me say this, it doesn’t matter how many times you try, just try.
I never saw leaving Florida as some failure, but dream fulfilled. The truth of the matter was that WE DID do what we came for. We are just as imperfect as the rest of the World, and I feel we did what was right for our family. And of course, we DID come back. Things got better, the life we knew in WI had been put to bed a long time ago, and we had the greatest perspective now of “What If we went back.” We know now, and even though Florida still may not be our forever home, we know WI is not either. A valuable life lesson made all around.
Don’t ever be afraid to admit when life is a mess…more people will connect with you on that than they ever will with your 100th happy selfie (Although I do love a good Goofy pic.)
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Going from “What If? to “Why Not” is my life motto and I work hard at living that every day. I share everything from moving to Florida to live near Disney World to road trips across the States. I love the cool, quirky, and crazy stuff that I can find on my Adventures, and every dollar you donate helps support my efforts and hard work. Thank you to ALL who support me!