In the past I have honored my Mother on this special day of days, but this year I wanted to do something different. I wanted to write about how it has been for me being a Mom, and maybe, just maybe, someone out there can relate- enjoy!
I don’t believe there is ANY job on this planet that is tougher than being a Mother. Just to get to that place for so many can be the first step in a very hard journey. We struggled with infertility and it was rough ever wondering if we would have a second child. I was there folks- in that mind set that maybe I was only meant to have one child and that was what it was going to be. The not knowing, the worry, the stress- and then one day you are pregnant and not even 5 pregnancy tests can convince you it’s real.
So after all of the struggle to get to that point, then we have the nine months to face. We have the joy of sharing the news, then the health issues, the weight gain, and oh those lovely battle scars we call stretch marks. We put our bodies through war to make another human, a child, a blessing that we will be responsible for, for the rest of our lives. (Yeah you think 18, think again!)
Then the day draws closer…”D” Day or “Delivery Day” as most Moms know it is. All you can think about is the baby- what it will look like, the sex if you don’t know yet, and what life will be like with this new child in your life. I remember the Docs telling us to catch up on all of our sleep before ours came, and I remember thinking “I can’t because I am way to excited to sleep- the baby is going to be here soon!!”
After all the worry and stress, you find yourself at home with this new baby and you can’t believe she/he is here. I remember being terrified that I wouldn’t be able to handle it- that I would be the worst Mom that there ever was. Why was I crying all the time, why was I always smelling like baby poop and puke? I knew I was ok, and I knew I just had to breathe- but no one tells you how hard it is really going to be.
The younger years, after the toddler ones, were awesome. I was the hero in their eyes- I provided their endless entertainment, food, and fun. It’s a great age because they are talking at this point, but they are talking TO you and not about you yet. You are the best in their eyes and they need you. How I miss those days of being “needed” like that- but I had mine and I am sure glad I did.
Then the school years begin, and these were and continue to be the toughest on me. How do you protect your child without coddling them? How do you let them fight their own battles when sometimes they may not have a clue how to? All I can do is look back at how I handled it at their age and how my parents dealt with any of it. From bullying to social skills, I feel like it is just one constant struggle to let my child have wings but to also make sure they keep their values grounded. It is just tough.
And then from one warm day in May my oldest graduates High School, and then three months later I am dropping her off for her first day of College. I worry for her future and her choices, and I pray that she will be okay in the next coming years.
The toughest part of being a Mom has been ME. It has been my greatest challenge, adventure, and it has been the only full time job I have ever had. I have loved brushing long blonde locks into pony tails and singing with them while on a walk. I have loved every minute, but it has been tough these later years, and I am learning that I have to give myself a break. Just because I reacted a certain way to my parents doesn’t mean my kids will respond to me the same way- the good and the bad. Before I was a blogger, before I dreamed of moving to Florida…I was a Mom.
So Happy Mothers Day to all of the Moms out there- enjoy THIS day that celebrates all of the tears wiped, noses blown, diapers changed, and warm hugs. For all of you who have lost a Mom, I am so sorry for you today and I hope that you find peace in some small way. For all of you who have lost a child, and I am with you in that category, I wish you also a sense of peace that I know is hard to find when the pain is raw. God bless each of you on this Mother’s Day.
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