Skip to content

Starting Over

Relocation is essentially life starting over. You are turning the page to your next life chapter, and it can be really scary at times.  A new city, new home, new job, and when those are stressful, you hope you have friends to catch you and help you through it all. But for most, finding the friends CAN be the most stressful part.  Let’s chat.

In  Grade and High School I had a best friend, we did everything together. Every summer I would bike to her house, dance to Madonna music in her basement, and just be goofy kids. I could lean on her because I knew I had that ONE friend who was there for me. Then we graduated, when our separate ways, and I started over.

Because we had our family younger, my husband was my best friend after her.  The energy I once put into sustaining that friendship went into my new marriage, and then my new baby girl.  I was happy for my new family, but all of us women KNOW we still need that connection with another gal for what we need to get out of our heads!  I would meet several nice women at my Church and through the occasional job, but nothing ever stuck that made me feel like anyone had my back.

Then we moved to Appleton, WI.  I was encouraged to try a local Church out, and here is where I would find probably the truest and kindest friend I had ever met. A pretty blonde sat in front of me in Choir, and eventually I got the nerve to say hello.  We sang all three services at the time, and in between we would try to find something to do.  She was heading out of the building and I said “Where you going?” She laughed and said “Um, to McDonalds” and I said BOLDLY “Can I come?”  Thus began the friendship, and that was 11 years ago.  You all know her as Kelly, I know her as my best friend.

Moving away from Appleton was going to tear my heart out in several pieces- one went to my Mom, one to my Church as a whole, and one to Kelly.  We are blessed by God’s great love to ever find that ONE friend on this planet who WON’T talk behind your back, who WON’T use you, and who is always there for you when you need them.  Yes, Kel and I have had our differences, but if we didn’t, I would think something is wrong with us.   But our friendship had matured enough that we could talk to each other about it, and instead of getting hurt and gossiping to others, we dealt with it with each other. THAT is friendship. THAT is a God working inside a friendship.

I have been here over a year, and did you know that I am just FINALLY finding real friends? To me that’s just sad, but I was looking for those who would have my back, and I of them. I needed mature friends with marriages and families, who had God as their center and that they were genuinely good people.  You just know that when you make that kind of friendship, it is something really special that you want more of the minute they leave your side.

I had that, not only at my Birthday party last week, but this past weekend for our girl’s night. I have been so caught up in trying to make ALOT of friends, it’s just by nature I do, that I had to remember it’s the quality and not the quantity that makes the difference.  Sitting around my living room and talking for hours on end, enjoying great food and drinks, and they even brought me gifts! I didn’t expect that, I really just hoped someone would show up and hang out with me.  It was so opposite from what I had felt last year at this time that I was almost in tears over how awesome these ladies were to me. They cared, they loved me, and I knew they would want to hang out again.

This past weekend, as the closing song of Illuminations started, myself and my gal pals started to cry. Like some girlie movie you would see on the big screen, we had our arms around each other, sang along, and just had our moment.  Wow, somebody out there GETS “IT” and GETS me!

The reason why I tell you all of this is that there is hope for all of you relocating. It takes time to feel out who you are comfortable with, and who you feel a connection with.  It is easy to fall into circles where you may be accepted, but the connection isn’t there.  I truly believe that God hand picks all of our friends for us, and if something doesn’t feel right about it, move on and find someone that does. Life is way too short to waste on those who don’t want to give you the time and energy that you feel you are giving them.  Friendship IS hard work, and you have to work at it like any relationship you have.  I believe if the person really wants to be in your life, they will find a way. If not, move on, empower yourself to walk away. Trust me, there are so many more people out there who are looking for a friend like you, than the ones who don’t even want to try.

I will always have Kelly, she will be my best friend for as long as I have breath … but in between the visits, I am sure glad that I have a certain group of ladies who love me and I of them here in town. This one is for you girls!

***Side note… I have made A LOT of friends with this blog, and have met some wonderful people. This is about making friends who are in my life locally, all the time, nearby, etc.. So please do not take offense, and each of you KNOWS if we are friends or not, so there ya go- love to you all.

12 Comments »

  1. RE: one year for you to find great friends.. I think that’s pretty quick! I’ve moved a few times now and can honestly say, it took years YEARS before meeting the good ones. They’re not that easy to find or come across. LIfe is busy. Nothing that comes easy is worth much.

  2. Definitely good news! I’ve learned after moving coast to coast a few times that online or out of town friends can only go so far. You need local friends to hang out with. And finding somebody who “gets” you in a totally different environment is a challenge. I’m so happy for you!

  3. Thank you Amy – I needed this! Even though we are miles and miles apart – you are a precious gift that God gave to me. I know if I am upset I can call you and even if I am not upset I can call you. I look forward to spending time with you in 114 days – where you not only are my friend – you become a part of my family! Love you!

  4. I have one best friend as well. She moved away, but not too far and we talk on the phone, not as often as we used to. I was there for her when she needed someone the most and I know she will always be there for me no matter where we live.

  5. This is great Amy! And I agree with Ann….a year is pretty quick to find really great friends, when you go someplace and know absolutely no one!! How could you not find great friends though, you are a great person, a person of faith, and honest. What more can you ask in a friend? I so look forward to meeting you in October!

  6. You are the most blessed person I know. I wished all my life for a friend such as you found. I don’t have anyone down here and never did anywhere I’ve lived. I was too shy in High school…too involved in my major in college…too wound up in relationships/marriage after college…and by then, had no idea how to form a friendship…still have no idea. You seem to have been blessed with a wonderful personality, and to already have some good friends. That is blessed. Cool.

  7. How could you not make friends Amy. You are by far the most bubbly and outgoing person I know. Glad that you have found friends who embrace you for who you are. See you soon!

  8. Making new friends is always hard but when you are older(not a kid by age I mean LOL) its even harder to find that common bond between you…but yours is Disney and there are so many other crazy people who love Disney and lucky for you they probally live near the mouse..so I bet you are going to have so many great friends near you that share that love of everything Disney…I hope I enjoy that myself some day soon…

  9. I am so very thankful that the computer at my family’s home is up and running ok so I could read this yesterday… I didn’t have the words to comment then because I was so moved. I still don’t have the words, but I do have a few more happy and grateful tears after reading it all over again. Looking forward to SO many more magical memories to come, together :). Love you!!

    Wendy 🙂

  10. Well said Paulette! Thank you so much for saying such heart felt words Ames!! I know we will always have each other’s back and even if we don’t talk all the time, we will always be best friends! Even if we have had our fun challenges in the past, I would never want to miss out on the awesome friend that is you!!! I miss you every day and will never find another “Amy”! I’m so thankful that we can talk often on FB or phone or whatever! I still haven’t found anyone that I can be as comfortable with as you now that you have moved. I love that about our friendship! I can laugh with you, try way too small clothes on, and/or just sit in silence and be totally at ease! I’m so looking to seeing you!!! Love you Ames!!! (And of course your post made me totally cry! lol)

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.