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The Relativity of Relocation

Relatives. Enough said? I was almost just going to leave this post with those words, and those words only. I have written about it before, but I wanted to fill you in on how it went these past weeks with everyone here. Enjoy!

Mom and Bob came a bit earlier than planned- great for me since I hadn’t seen them in 8 months, and even longer for the rest of the family. But, we weren’t prepared. Certain things were still getting set, had to clean a lot more, but we welcomed them with our almost ready home in tow.

When you have a party at your home for any life moment, your parents come for the day- then they leave. Well, that’s how it used to be. Everyone lived close to us, so it wasn’t a major thing. Now with us living far away, of course it’s a much bigger deal. Everyone, except for his Dad, had been here before during different times this past year. Now having them all here at once, it was a bit of a challenge. For people like us who aren’t regular hosts, we found we had to regroup and plan out each day so we could keep our sanity.

Yes, of course we love our parents. Having my mom here was a dream…seeing her smile every morning, taking our walks, chatting about life- a comfort I missed so much. Yes, we talk on the phone, but her physical self right next to me made everything whole again.  I tell you all now, the day she leaves this Earth I am going to be a huge mess.  I enjoyed the comfort and security, and it was great- for ME. For my husband, which I can understand, it was tough because he isn’t close to her like I am, and that is ok and is just life. I am not close to his mom either, and again, we all know this. It’s hard to want your time with your Mom so bad, but you don’t want to upset your daily balance of life with your husband either. I am sure all my girlfriends out there know EXACTLY what I am talking about.

Last time Mom was here, it was for only 10 days, this time it was 17. Now they have an RV in the driveway, so they had their own space at all times. Occasionally Bob would hang out in our living room, but I was never there because I was out with Mom. He is sweet to take her all the way here to spend time with me, but sometimes we feel bad and uncomfortable because we want him to be enjoying the time as well but usually he looked pretty bored. Having blended families visiting just adds a different element to all of it. When I visited Mom in Green Bay, I said hi to Bob, how’s life, then left with my Mom. When they come, I see him more here than I did in WI for the past 10 years!

But oh the fun Mom and I over those almost 3 weeks! We shopped everywhere we could think of, with always a mission in mind every day. We visited Lakeland for the firs time where I almost lost it I was so excited to see a Hobby Lobby, Thrift Store, Party City, etc… all in one area! I almost lost my heart to this city, and if Disney were closer, I may have moved here instead!  We also traveled to Clermont and hit Kohls and more thrift shops, then basically hit Target and Walmart a bunch of times. I had so missed the talks with her, shopping and making jokes while we combed through aisles of stuff. We ate at so many wonderful places, and I was thrilled to have an early Birthday dinner at Red Lobster with her where I dined on crab legs and butter- MY FAV!!

Once Craig’s parents got here, mine backed off and gave them the room in our home to hang out with Craig and the kids. It was very kind of them, especially since Craig’s dad had never been here before. Craig loves hanging out with them, and more so, being able to chat with his Dad. He doesn’t have a lot of men out here to talk too, so hanging with his Dad really made me happy to see.

We all spent time together at Kyra’s graduation ceremony and party here, but for the most part our families did something on their own. Craig took his parents to Star Wars Weekends at DHS, which his Dad really enjoyed. They unfortunately had to go home on Emily’s birthday, but they were able to enjoy seeing her before they left.

Mom and Bob left last week, and I really struggled with it. I know I will see them next month, so it wasn’t all bad, but it was still hard. I can’t help it people, I am a sentimental and sincere person. I don’t wear my heart on my sleeve, it’s all over me.  When something hurts me, it hurts. When I am happy, it shows. And when I love someone, you will ALWAYS know it.  When she left, it was again like before, a piece was gone. I know, grow up Amy. But, like I said, I can’t and won’t apologize that I’m close to her. She is always my constant rock in this crazy life, and I can’t imagine living it without her.

I guess I wanted to get across to you all that want to move here, that the family aspect of if, the relative side is, and can be, a tough one. All of those holidays and birthdays, are you prepared to celebrate them without your parents? Are you ready for those rough times in your life and they aren’t nearby to help? Having a support system in your life doesn’t make you weak, it makes you strong. Admitting EVER that you need these people, that their support means the world to you, is an important thing to do. It isn’t relying on someone else, but knowing they are there for you WHEN and IF you need them. I used to think that needing my Mom may be a weakness, that I couldn’t stand on my own two feet- but that isn’t it at all. Needing her means that I am human, that I love her, and that most importantly, BEING NEEDED is such an important role for ANYONE in this lifetime.

It was a wonderful visit, and even with the tension at times of trying to work out daily life with family in town, we all made it work.  I am glad they came, I miss them already, and I can’t wait to see them again.

10 Comments »

  1. Great Blog Amy – You have such a wonderful relationship with your mom and that is a good thing!! I unfortunately don’t quite have that – because she had a stroke at 37 and I was only 6 – back then they didn’t have the resources they have now for stroke victims – so unfortunately she can’t quite grasp alot things and doesn’t have the physical mobility either. I love her just the same. Just hard sometimes. But cherish every moment with your mom and make as many memories as possible. I love you girl and another great blog!

  2. That is the one thing that has kept us here as long as we have. visits much as we try to talk them into moving down with us… We know that we will need to have a guest bedroom all year long for family coming down to visit.

  3. This was great reading Amy! It’s always special when you see family you have not seen for a while. Thank you for sharing this special time with your family!

  4. I totally agree with the hardship of not having family close by when big moments come! We have only been here 3 months now and I’m already trying to figure out how we are going to do Elliot’s first birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc. We are hoping to convince the in-laws to follow their dreams and move here too! 🙂 It’s hard to be away from family, no matter what your age!

  5. I’m so happy that you had a wonderful visit with family! And I love both your mothers and your dress in the 4th picture down.

  6. I get it Amy, really I do! My mom is my best friend and there is not a lot I do with out her and when we move to florida she is coming along! I dont think I could be as strong as you 🙂 When we meet up in September, she will be with me!

  7. Great post Amy. I am almost going to have to force my mom to move with us. My mom has Alzheimers. Right now she can still live by herself. But at some point she is not going to be able to and I am not going to put her in a nursing home. Our move is still some time off and working her health and well being is going to be a challenge. Thank you for your incite.

  8. I’m so glad that you guys had a great visit with your families. Aside from finding a job down there; leaving family behind is the other hardest thing to do with moving. In the one picture it looks like you and your mom were outside of an Olive Garden. That is my favorite place to eat. Is this in the area where you live or a town next to your area?

  9. Your mom looks like a hoot to hang out with. Funny thing, we just had a houseful of family for graduation, too. My parents are divorced which…ewww!…can make for some sticky situations. And it is so true what you said about not being used to playing host. Knowing how to host effortlessly is truly a gift I do not possess. Perhaps one day. Congrats to Kyra!

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