Dealing with Grief after a Relocation

One of my greatest fears of moving here to FL, one of my nightmares that I never wanted to see come true, just did this past week when my Grandmother died. I had the conversation with Craig so many times of the “What if…” and then I would just hope that I would be ready for it when it happened. I wasn’t. Then again, whoever is?

Getting the call, after Monday night chat no less, was hard enough. I had had a great day, I was on cloud 9, and as my Dad said the words, it took awhile to set in. I remember being outside, as I get way better reception outside than in my house, and I thought how odd it was that I was hearing this news while looking at the same palm trees that brought me so much joy just months ago when we arrived.  After I hung up, nothing mattered but wanting to be with my family so bad it hurt.

After every death in my life, I was usually near someone I could receive and give comfort too. I had never been in this position before, being so far away from everyone that I could do nothing but feel the pain.  My Mom is traveling, my Brother lives in another State, and that left my Dad and his siblings to deal with it all.  Most would hop a plane, drive up in a car, go to the funeral and be there. I’m not, and I can’t.  Due to some unfortunate family drama, they had a very small and private service with my Dad and his siblings, and a few of Grandmas friends.

She was buried Thursday morning, and I took the time to think and reflect on her while I knew the funeral was going on. It was hard not to be there in person, but I knew that for all the right reasons, I needed to be here instead.  I knew that she was looking down on me, and I hope that she has found the arms of my Grandfather, but most importantly, that she is with Jesus.  It was everything I could do, and my advice to others is to do the same. Take time out of the day to reflect on the person that you have lost, send flowers or cards, and let family know how much that person meant to you.

I realize some don’t do anything when they live far away because the disconnection can make the death feel almost unreal. What helped me was talking to my Dad, my Mom, and texting with my cousin- with them knowing about it made it real and also helped me grieve with someone who knew the pain I was feeling.  If you are ever in this position, I would say talk to family to help you through it.

I guess I wanted to write this post as a help to others who will deal with this, no matter where they move to.  I knew that I couldn’t stay living in WI “hoping” that I would be around when friends and family would pass away- while I waited, and maybe had the peace of mind of being there, I wouldn’t be realizing my dream.  You can’t let family missing you be a factor when it is what you truly want to go after in life. You will miss them, they will miss you- but phones, planes, and cars will help connect you with them once again.  I do miss my family and friends, but I am enjoying living the dream that our family had to get here.  I am sure I will deal with grief again, but I am at peace that I know that I will be somewhat ready for what it will feel like to hear the news now. I hope this helps someone, and again, thank you for the love and support this past week.

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Going from “What If? to “Why Not” is my life motto and I work hard at living that every day. I share everything from moving to Florida to live near Disney World to road trips across the States. I love the cool, quirky, and crazy stuff that I can find on my Adventures, and every dollar you donate helps support my efforts and hard work. Thank you to ALL who support me!

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11 thoughts on “Dealing with Grief after a Relocation

  • I never got to meet my Dad’s Dad cuz he passed when my Dad was 16 years old but one thing I have found that help me as an adult was to write a letter to my Grandpa D …I got to say all the things that I wasn’t able to say and it really helped with closure.

    ((((AMy))))))))
    XOXOXO

  • Amy – I’m so sorry for your loss. I live in Texas and when my Mom suddenly passed in NC, the distance was almost too much for me to bare. Thanks for sharing this with us.

  • We just moved from Wisconsin to Houston and this was a big concern of mine as well. Thank you for openly sharing the feelings you’re going through. Grief is painful no matter where you are. I think the key is finding support where ever you are.

  • I’m so sorry for your loss, Amy. I was on my honeymoon when my Grandfather passed away. We were on a 7-night cruise, so there was no way to let us know. It wasn’t until after we got home that we found out. He passed the day after we left, so they had already had all the services and had buried him before we even found out. It was very surreal when we were told because he seemed fine before we left, plus we didn’t really have closure or a grieving process. You and your family are in my thougths and prayers. God Bless!

  • Amy, I’m very sorry about the loss of your Grandma. I’m sure she’s looking down on you and your family and beaming with pride. I’ll continue to pray for you and your family during this difficult time. In the meantime, continue to remember the special times you and your Grandma shared. Those will always be precious in your heart. God bless you.

  • I never met any of my Grandparents – but have this fear because my parents are in poor health in NC. My Dad goes through Chemo & Bone Marrow Biopsies practically weekly and it is so hard. One day I will get that call and just reading this was difficult because I have thought about it. My Mom is 83 and losing her memory…my Dad is too sick to drive a car (not to mention hearing & eyesight not good)…Hugs to you my friend. We all support you, for what it’s worth and you have so much love and happiness here, that somehow it will be ok. Your Grandmother was PROUD of the huge step toward happiness that you took. Just always remember the bravery that they saw and love! We do too.