This week, this MONTH, has been so odd to me that I don’t how to organize my thoughts on paper anymore. We DREAMED of what our first Christmas in FL would be like, and as discussed in the post before this one, you can see that sometimes our expectations get the best of us. I know some of you are thinking, “WHAT is this girl’s problem? You got to celebrate in WDW!” Yes, I did, many, many times. But home is where the heart is, and this year my heart was half here and half in Wisconsin. Which leads me to the title of this blog, does a dream have an expiration date?
Whether your dream was fulfilled or still hasn’t been, do you ever wonder if there is a true end to it? Yes, I fulfilled my dream of living here in FL, but I have to be honest, I have my moments where all I can think about is hopping the first plane to WI and sit in my Mom’s house, and feel like everything is back to normal. Here’s the catch, when I visited WI last time, I could FEEL I didn’t belong there, so why would I think now or ever would I belong there again? Ugh, I think my thoughts get the best of me. I am sure you all get this by now, but this blog is sometimes a therapy tool for me. Seeing what I feel written out, exposing my soul sort of speak for the world to see is numbing and helpful all at the same time.
I feel like I have literally had a six month vacation in Disney World. I believe that’s what we all wanted, to have that magic at our doorstep, but sometimes the reality of life get’s blurred with it all. Yes, the kool-aid of denial is a sweet thing to taste, but I almost feel guilty for enjoying this all so much. I am the type of personality that starts to worry the minute everything is going great, because something always seems to be there to screw it up. Maybe that’s why I still haven’t felt settled here yet, because I can’t allow myself to just breathe and be happy.
I have had dreams before, but moving to FL was by far the biggest one I have ever had. It took so much planning, and saving, and thinking… oh my goodness the thinking involved! One day I would be stressing if Kyra would like her new school, and the next if our rental home would be as nice as the picture showed it to be. Every dime and nickel we could hold on to, we did, and I felt closer to my husband than I had in years. We were working together on this huge goal, and not one evening walk went by that we didn’t chat about our dream of Florida. I almost feel like there should be a support group for those who were successful at something, because the feeling goes from pure exhilaration to “Now what?”
For those of you who think moving away will leave your problems and cares behind you, think again. I didn’t “leave” anything, but I “found” more drama than I cared to upon moving here. I had these amazing friends in WI, ones I trusted and who cared about me- it’s a rare thing to find that someone that you can trust and know that they have your back at any time. Granted, I had only a handful of those types, but I wasn’t prepared for all the silliness with people during our first summer living here. In the end it’s my own fault, I should have known better than to invest time in those who really wanted nothing to do with me in the first place. Be careful who you friend when moving anywhere new, it can set the stage for how you feel in general with friendships in a new place, and NOONE needs that when trying to fulfill a dream.
I have come to the realization that life here in Florida is what I make it to be, no one else. If people don’t like me or my convictions, then they don’t have to know me. If people don’t like how my family followed their dream, don’t read about it. I will still never understand why some have bashed us about our love and passion for moving here- it’s not your life, so why do you care? I believe that God plants passions in our lives to direct us on our paths. That’s why we love what we love, and it’s an awesome gift God has given each one of us. Don’t ignore your calling in life, because in the end you want to know you tried your hardest and that you got to the finish line of life with no regrets.
The cool thing is that when I have had enough of Disney for awhile, I just don’t go. When I have had enough of reality, I walk back into the Magic Kingdom, sit on a bench, eat some popcorn, and smile in the sons love. After 6 months you would think I have worked the kinks out by now, but it is a day by day process that all four of us are learning. Patience is something of a lesson that I deal with it more than I care too.
On a side note, I know of those who followed a dream and found that they didn’t like what they dreamt it to be. There is no shame in walking away, the point of LIFE in general is that YOU TRIED. I hope we live here forever, and I hope it works out. But I am not above saying that if things don’t work out, I know that there is a place for me and my family to turn too. You have to give it everything you have, and I mean EVERYTHING. I almost sometimes look at life now as this is how it’s always been, and that it just needs to be dealt with. I want to help people move and relocate here, but also know that I will be brutally honest as well. Living near Mickey comes with a price that sometimes is way too steep for some to pay, so it is always a good idea to think everything through.
I want to again thank you all for reading the ramblings of a mad Disney woman like myself, I am always amazed at how much this blog has grown. Maybe I have hit a nerve with people who want to move and needed someone to sell it to them straight, or maybe I bring a piece of the magic to someone who just needed that to get through their day. Whatever it is I do for you, I hope it is positive. I may sound sad at times, heck even stressed out, but it just means I’m human and that I am like everybody else who walks this planet.
Does a dream have an expiration date? I guess we will find out.