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Finding My Purpose

How does this pertain to relocation? Simple, when you move your entire world is shook up. What you thought someone needed you for in the old life, they don’t need in the new one. Everyone needs to have a purpose on this planet, and it is vital in exploring what yours is upon moving to a new city or state.

When I lived in Appleton, I had a purpose. Besides being wife and mom, I worked pretty much full-time, on top of volunteering at my local Shelter and being active in my Church. I felt people relied on me and that most of the time I came through for everyone who crossed my path.  When you have this dream of moving, all you see it THAT dream.  I dreamt of days where I could walk into MK anytime I wanted, and I can and do. But my life is more than Mickey, and I am trying to find where I fit anymore.

Some may say, “What does she have to complain about?” and to those people I say “I am human.” Even after 100 days of living here, I am still struggling to relax.  Craig has never once looked back, while I am constantly wondering what all my old friends are up to.  I thought making new friends would help this, but what I loved about my old friends I still haven’t found in my new.  It doesn’t mean I don’t love mine here, it just means that I am having a hard time with the distance from the others.

Craig works every week day, even some weekends, while both kids have school. After cleaning the house, doing some yard work, and making sure everyone is set, I sit in the living room and wonder “What now?”  I have no interest in a job right now, as Kyra still needs rides to and from school. Good friends have already plugged themselves into a church, so hopefully after Moms visit we can go and meet others outside the Disney community. I hope to volunteer at Give Kids the World soon as well, I just have to get the ambition too.

For the past couple of days I feel like I am covered with a blanket of sadness, and I can’t break the funk I am in.  When I get sad or depressed, I tend to turn to everything I’m not happy with in my life. I know God is there for me, but the sadness sometimes is quite easy to give in to. Why should I be sad, I live next to WDW? I have a family who loves me, how dare I, right?  If I had a clue of why I am I wouldn’t be anymore.

I love blogging about relocating, but even more, life. Life is messy folks, and even mine is nowhere near perfect.  I struggle with home sickness, and I WISH I could be that strong pillar for you all and say I don’t, but I do.  It makes me smile every time you comment, every time you pm me, every time you text. It is nice to know people care, and I really do appreciate it. I am sure that once my Mom gets here that I will feel better and enjoy that piece of home I so desperately need right now. Enjoy your day.

15 Comments »

  1. i hope you feel better soon – was wondering if it could be the “oh no summer is over and winter is coming” blues….being from CT, i get those right about now…..thats why i booked a trip down to wdw this year…hoping to avoid those blue

  2. Aww, sweetie!! (hugs) You will in time find your place!! I know it’s a lot to deal with and get used to after a huge life shake-up! Believe me, like I told you when we met, I am feeling soo lost myself with everything I have been going through. But one day at a time we need to work towards what we want to do/need to do…and we both will find our place and our reason!! If you ever need to talk, like I have told you before, I am here for you!! I hope your visit with your Mom this week is wonderful and helps you to feel better!! Love ya!! 🙂

  3. Hugs! I know how you feel. I was lucky that my family moved to just outside Tampa. but Ben, my SO’s family is still up in PA and financially we can’t visit them when we want and they can not get the same time off to all visit. I am also still having a hard time finding friends in the area. I am a shy person, despite working at Disney. And a lot of the friends I do meet, live all over the world. and this is now rambling! Dreams are amazing things! There is the silver lining, but there is also the rain. And again, love reading your blogs!

  4. You are such an inspiration to me and our desire to move to FL one day. Your family is strong, and times get hard, but you will be okay. Remember that we are all praying for you! Keep moving forward as Walt and Lou Mongello like to say!

  5. I second what the folks above said but especially Jennifer. Big and lots of hugs! Thank you for the good, the bad and the ugly posts. You are helping us prepare for our move, which sounds like yours has been moved up by a year. I pray you get out of your funk quickly 🙂 Enjoy your Mom while she is visiting!!

  6. Oh my goodness, Amy! You are really good at putting into words EXACTLY how I am feeling too. I wish I had something fabulous to say like “you’ll settle in” or “it will just take time”, except that I don’t even know what to do with myself here in Savannah. And to top it off, my husband got a message yesterday that his company is hiring for his old position back in Seattle. We have both been homesick…it’s been months for me and just about the last month for him. We are not settled in yet after being here over a year and I just don’t know what we’re going to do. I can’t find a job here in this little town to save my life. We do love being a 4-hour drive from Walt Disney World, but we haven’t been since April. I also know that it is ok to go on an adventure like this move has been and to decide that it’s just not for us. We’ll see what the future holds soon enough! In the meantime, (((hugs))) to you!

  7. Hopefully you will find your own little nitch down there. I think that Give the Kids the World would be a wonderful place to give your time and support to, although that in itself can be emotional. maybe check with the local library to see if they need volunteers to read to kids. I hope that your mom’s visit lifts your spirits and it doesnt fade to much after she leaves. I will see you soon my friend, keep your chin up!

  8. I’m glad you are willing to share your feelings in the articles you write. You are HUMAN and ups and downs are certainly expected. I go through similar moods up here in CT. I have times of sadness that we have not yet taken the leap to live our Disney dreams, but also feel the security of staying put for now. Any major life change (especially at our age) is going to cause us to have times of emotional difficulty. You WILL get through these feelings and God will help you find your purpose. Right now your purpose is to be there for your family and enlighten all of us with this wonderful blog! Hope to see you in January!

  9. Sending you hugs. I would be the same way I’m sure which is part of the reason I’ve been hesitant in moving. I am praying that your visit with family that arrived today will help you ease this depression you are currently feeling. I know you don’t feel you have purpose, but honestly you so DO because of all you do for all of us who read your blog and live vicariously through you. I have been following this blog since it’s inception and it has been such a blessing to me and many others- if that isn’t purpose I don’t know what is. : ) I am happy to see you mention Give Kids The World, when I read your post that is what instantly popped into my head and then to see you mention it as well re affirmed it. I believe strongly that if you volunteer there you not only will feel rewarded and blessed but you will form connections with others who volunteer there as well, perhaps some new friendships?? Praying for you today and always!
    Lesley

  10. Amy, I think what you are feeling is normal. The past year of your life you have spent running on adrenaline. Between planning to move, preparing to move, actually moving and finally getting settled you haven’t really had any down time to absorb it all. I think its only natural to feel out of sorts especially considering that you are you still getting into a routine and still trying to find a sense of community. Home sickness is to be expected and maybe having your mom there will help you feel more settled. The first year of adjusting to any new situation is stressful and over time it becomes more familiar. I think all your readers will agree that at some point we have all felt a little out of sorts and not quite sure where we belong. But time is wonderful thing because it allows life to play out and sort itself out. Chin up and enjoy your week with your mom!

  11. Just because you survived a relocation doesn’t mean you’re superhuman Amy, we all have highs and lows. Would imagine you are dealing with a lot of emotions about your mums visit, so even if you don’t realise it, that could be affecting your mood. Take care of yourself xx

  12. HI Amy, I think what you feeling is a very natural feeling and expected..There’s several instances even listed in the Bible..of God’s people feeling the same way,David, Elijah..many times just after something wonderful has happened..they would experience a sort of let down..a time to communicate with God of what he expects next from them..maybe thats just it..God is starting to prepare for your next assignment …so to speak..What I do know is that your family is very loved and have blessed so many near and far and I’m sure God has great things planned for you..hope your blues have subsided for now with Mom and Dad around!! Enjoy your family!! (also when I feel blue, I always like to read Psalms..its comforting!)

  13. It’s called “reality” dear! Its settling in. The excitement of where you are is rubbing off a bit & you are seeing what life is really going to be like there. NO WORRIES. You will find your place. You just gotta visit someplace OTHER than Walt Disney World to find it. LOL 😉 And I bet you will find a lot of places to fit in, you are a true Adventurer!

    We climb the highest mountains,
    just to get a better view.
    We plumb the deepest oceans,
    cause we’re daring through and through.
    We cross the scorching deserts,
    martini in our hands.
    We ski the polar ice caps,
    in tuxedo looking grand.
    We are reckless, brave, and loyal,
    and valiant to the end.
    If you come in here a stranger,
    you will exit as a friend.

    KUNGALOOSH!!!

  14. Amy I am loving reading your blog. Sometimes it’s hard to find that little something that makes where we live home. Sometimes it takes awhile to get completely settled in a be comfortable for where you are. I think once you finally get settled in and find your place there it will help.
    We are planning on moving down next year and with you blogging about how you are feeling is helping me on what it might be like for us.
    I’m positive everything will start going the way you are wanting it soon. Keep the faith. There is a reason for everything.

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