Expectations…Are They Realistic?
When you first start on any journey, you have stars in your eyes. The very THOUGHT of what you want to do, could do, makes you giddy beyond belief. A dream that CAN be realized is so precious, so significant, that it almost takes our breath away at the very idea of it coming to fruition. But is it realistic? I just thought I would shed some light on what I have experienced so far with our dream, and how expectations can be toxic at times.
Is the dream you have, within your means? Back when we first started this idea, Craig didn’t have a job. He had been laid off, and with my hourly job, things weren’t looking to good. We had faith he would find the job we needed, but until that time came, we had nothing BUT time to decide on our next move. We had to deal with “Maybe FL has more IT jobs than WI” and thoughts like it. Until he got the call last year, that literally changed the course of our family forever, we had no idea if our dreams would come true. Being told you not only have a job, a great paying job, but also YOU CAN WORK FROM HOME, was HUGE to us. But the icing on the cupcake, the whip cream on our “kitchen sink” would be that he could work from ANYWHERE. Once the job was checked off, we could figure out how much we could save from each paycheck for the move.
Are your employment expectations realistic with your dreams? Here is the thing, our original plan was for Craig to head down in April of this year to spend time in FL looking for a job, then our place to live. I know of people who have moved down there and have found jobs, and some who have not. Realistically, I would have never been very comfortable with Craig having to find a job AND a place to live without us being with him. It’s too much pressure for one person, and completely too risky. Make sure that if you aren’t stable in a move with employment, that you have enough savings to back up your lifestyle at least 6 months.
Are your expectations realistic with time? All good things come to those who wait. At first, we were moving in 2012, than when hubby lost his job, we almost moved last summer of 2010. Moving it up SO quickly put us in a panic state- our expectations of fulfilling our dream so suddenly and without being ready was too much and to stressful. Yes, it would be nice to be there already- but without our savings, without the time to prepare, it would have been a disaster. Making the decision, and the compromise, to move this year of 2011, was realistic and doable.
What are your expectations of the dream once you have reached it? Do you expect to be happy? Do you expect that there will be a happy ending? Obviously, I think we all have these expectations. Once you reach your goal, your dream, your destination- you naturally expect for it work out for the best. My expectations of Florida are reasonable- I hope we find a good home, a good city, and that most importantly, that we fit into the state. I expect my oldest will have a hard time at first fitting into her new school, just as much as Jessie will have to get used to her new routines as well. I am trying to keep my expectations low, so that whatever happens, I won’t be shocked by it.
A lot of people seem to think that “we” expect to visit Walt Disney World, every day, for the rest of our lives in FL. We don’t. Life in FL will be life- work, groceries, school…etc. WDW is a PERK, a HUGE park for us. I hope we can visit as much as we can, but we have to be realistic. Once homework is done, Craig’s job is done for the day, or we don’t have prior commitments, then we get to enjoy Disney
Don’t expect that where you are moving to will be just like home now. . I believe it’s all about balance, and maintaining a healthy lifestyle to ensure that our dreams become our stable reality. I want a life for us out in Florida, not a never-ending vacation. After awhile, vacations can get old. You miss home, you miss your normal routine, the people you see every other day- we leave all of that behind. I expect that I will have some depression in the first couple of weeks- knowing Mom is now 1200 miles away and not 20 will have some getting used to. Knowing the Church I next attend, won’t have those familiar choir faces I am used to every Tuesday night here, will be a bit sad for me. But no one said change was 100% bullet proof, and I “expect” that all of us will have to be ready for the good and the bad.
I hope this helps you see what expectations are healthy, and what could hurt your goals and dreams. Again, these are my experiences, and yours could be completely different, but I wanted you to see what our expectations are for our relocation.