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Relocating Relationships

In yesterday’s blog, I touched upon how we are sifting through the years of items we have accumulated, but I felt I needed to touch upon another side of relocating, dealing with the endings and beginnings of relationships.  Whether you have lived next to your cousin you whole life, or have a best friend of 10 years, any transition will be tough.  Here is how I have been dealing with this side of life, and I hope it helps those of you relocating as well.

Before moving, there are many things you can do to strengthen relationships and make them count before moving on to your new life.  For example, every Tuesday night I get together with my close friend Angie and her new baby girl, Hannah.  Once choir starts again, I will keep our Tuesday nights, but I will be heading to her home after choir so that I can continue to see her.  The laughter and girl talk, along with getting to see her beautiful baby, makes the time here in WI go by a bit faster.

Buy a calendar that is specific for your relocation plans.  We have done this, and I make sure to add all of our dinner plans with family and friends so that we can keep track of everyone.  Don’t be afraid to make plans months in advance, for once the ball really gets rolling, having dates locked in with others will be PRICELESS.

Take advantage of your lunch time at work. If you get a certain amount of time, make sure that you spend time with co-workers you care about, or with others who you can have lunch dates with. You would be surprised how refreshing it is to make memories in the half-hour/hour you may get.  I love hanging out with Susan, or heading to Machine Shed with my best bud Kelly and her son, Josiah.

Work is always important, but when leaving a current job for another, especially if relocating, don’t let it take over your life.  Leave the work at work, spend time with your family and friends… they will be there for you after the move… most times, your job won’t be. I guarantee you will look back at the time you spent before your move and think about the PEOPLE you left behind, not that one last project you could have finished before you left.

Don’t be afraid to wear your heart on your sleeve.  I have ALWAYS been a person who can be read quite easily. You will know if I am upset, happy, or just in a “mood.”  But, you will also know how much I care and love you as well.  Over the past months, I have made it my mission to make sure that my friends and family know how much I love and care about them.  I wanted them to know how much we WILL miss them, so I do make sure I have told them, and will continue to until that last good-bye for awhile.  It is never too late to make your words count.

Prepare to move your relationships forward.  Now, we all know some relationships, especially when there is a move involved, just seem to end. But, in this age of “Social Media,” we will be able to keep many of our relationships while in FL.  Take advantage of Skype, Facebook, and Twitter.  Invest into a good web-cam so you can see your family and friends on those occasions that may be hard, for the first time, to not be involved in.

If you aren’t of the technical age yet, buy a fresh date/phone book and write down everyone’s current phone numbers and addresses.  This is a great idea, even if you ARE in the technical age, because as well know, cell phones die at the worst times when you need someone’s info.  Better safe than sorry.

I have a wonderful Grandma who lives here in WI that I just never make the time for. Well, no more of that. Being in FL will REALLY make it tough, so I am making plans to have a nice visit with her in April.  Other relatives in IL and friends who I have met online, like Billie, I will also be visiting over the following months.  Some may think, why now? Why visit those people now that you didn’t have time for while you lived here? Well, there is no time like the present!  After April 1st, I will no longer be working, so I will have a lot more time on my hands for others… I am very excited about that!

You will have those relationships who may be in disbelief you are actually moving, or who just won’t “get it.” To those, and we have people in our lives like that as well, you have to just do what you can and be ok with that in the end.  You will never change someone’s mind on their opinion of your relocation, that will always be up to them.  Look to the positive and uplifting people in your life, and stick to them!

Be active on new relationships for the future.  I know I have touched upon Lou Mongello’s “Meet” this past November before, but again, it bears repeating. I had such an incredible time, making friends and connecting with old ones, that it was food for my hesitant soul.  I know I will keep the friends I have now, but things WILL change, that’s just life.  My fear of moving to FL was never that we won’t find a good home, or schools, or even myself getting a Disney job… it was that I wouldn’t make the friends like I have made here in WI.   After that “WDW Radio Meet,” it was like God said “Here Amy, I would like you to meet your new friends.”  As I write this now, I tear up.  The love I felt from Lou, Otis, Tim, JL, Todd, Cheryl, Jon, Heidi and Deanna was absolutely priceless.  I can’t wait to meet more of you when we live there… our door will always be open to making more friends.

We hope to have a going away party the week of our move, and we also hope to have a “Welcome Home” party when we get settled in FL.  My plan is to write all of my dear friends a letter to only be opened when I have left… yeah, I told you, I am the mushy type. If you are one of those friends reading this now, just pretend you didn’t know about it. LOL

If I hadn’t met you, I wouldn’t like you. If I didn’t like you, I wouldn’t love you. If I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t miss you. But I did, I do, and I will.
– Anonymous

 

~Amy Falk Petermann

3 Comments »

  1. You really made me tear up…very moving. I moved exactly 10yr ago about 1.5hrs away from my family & it’s sad because its like I live on another continent..literally. However, after my move, I got married and had my 2nd child, Savannah, and lost touch with just about everyone. My older daughter, Nicole, became ill and I had no one but those whom I have met here in Pittsburgh. They are the ones that have stuck by my side too through everything. Nothing is more to me than family but when you make the effort and are the only one, what do you do..give up? After this past holiday season and learning whom the ones that are really there, I do have family..we may not be related but they are the ones that are still here. As of today, Nicole, whom suffers from KLS, is still sick in her sleepwalking/comatose state. Today will be day 48 & no one in my family except my dad has called about her etc since way before this all started. When she’s like this, we become homebound due to the nature of the episodes. I have had a couple friends take kids to parties, call to see if they could do Christmas shopping for me and so much more. You guys are great people and will meet so many more wonderful people just like yourselves. I know we have not met in person but you are genuinely a good person. Enjoy the time with your friends and family in WI. I live the way you are doing everything so planned out. I don’t think I could ever do that, Amy.

    Well, its about 2am & I’m actually such and have a dr appt in the morn…I better get some shut eye..

    Goodnight!!! 🙂

  2. Again a beautiful update. Something that I learned from TGM
    is “Friends are the family that you choose”

  3. Amy,

    Came back to catch up on the reading of the blog. All change can be difficult for everyone, and I sometimes find myself so caught up on making that dream of moving come true that I do forget of others feelings.

    I am so glad that I have met you and others so when that day comes that I will have those new friends already in place that they will not be new, they will be family!

    Shelley